All of us have experienced or will experience at some stage in our lives the fear of loneliness. This feeling is one of the most difficult that we can experience because the central fear is based on the feeling of abandonment, and human beings are social by nature, we need to be in contact with others. The reality is that people are born alone and die alone, even though we create emotional ties throughout our lives, which is normal and necessary for our well-being and development, we must also fend for ourselves and find ourselves calm and in peace even in times of loneliness.
As we can see, it is very common for us to experience fear of loneliness at some stage in our lives, but where does this fear of loneliness come from? And above all, how can we overcome it? In this article, we will analyze where it comes from, and we will show you some keys to learn how to overcome the fear of loneliness.
Causes of the fear of loneliness
According to researchers and experts on the subject, the feeling of loneliness comes from early childhood and is related more than anything to our emotional development. For example, when as babies or children we have a need and it is not well attended to or satisfied by the parents, as well as when as children we constantly hear threats from adults that we will be left alone if we behave badly. This type of situation provokes a feeling of abandonment in the person, reinforces the fear of loneliness, and makes us find ourselves little prepared to experience it with the passing of the years.
Another important aspect to consider that combined with our emotional development can lead to fear of loneliness. Loneliness is generally perceived in our culture as something purely negative. For example, a person who has few friends is not considered in the same way as a more sociable person, who is usually valued in a more positive way.
Sometimes, not having a partner is also valued negatively, among other types of situations that make people unconsciously generate a certain fear of loneliness. On the other hand, the level of confidence that one has in oneself is a determining factor in overcoming the feeling of loneliness. A person with low self-esteem tends to experience more fear of loneliness than another who has sufficient self-confidence.
Keys to overcoming the fear of loneliness
Learn to distinguish your emotional state
A fundamental aspect that must be taken into account when you want to overcome loneliness to learn to identify if that feeling comes more from physical loneliness or comes from a mental state. For example, on many occasions, you can be surrounded by people and feel lonely in spite of that, and on the contrary, you can be physically alone and feel at peace with yourself.
Being alone physically is usually a temporary situation from which a feeling of loneliness can derive. However, the loneliness that comes from a mental state that is usually deeper, is a feeling of emptiness, of having nothing, of constant frustration, the person who experiences it does not trust their personal, emotional, and affective capacities to get ahead.
Learn to enjoy solitude
Loneliness is not entirely negative, it also has its positive side, and you have to know how to take advantage of it. One way to take advantage of those free times you are alone is to work introspection to get to know yourself better, rediscover yourself, innovate, develop creativity, and increase your own potential.
The introspect and enjoy those moments of solitude and silence is a fundamental act for maturity and lets you be more aware of what happens with yourself, and you become emotionally more independent and a more
self – esteem person. The important thing, above all, is knowing how to alternate between being alone and accompanied and feeling calm in both circumstances to achieve a healthy balance.
The practice of meditation helps regulate thoughts and emotions. It is a great ally to maintain that inner balance that allows you to move forward, living moment by moment with intensity and awareness, focusing on the here and now, leaving aside disturbing thoughts about what has happened in the past and uncertainty about what is going to happen in the future.
Increases the ability of people to cope with adverse situations and to adapt even to traumatic changes. It is worth mentioning that research has shown how meditation relieves feelings of loneliness. And it is scientifically proven that it brings benefits on a psychological level and on a physical level, which helps to maintain the balance between body, mind, and spirit.
Go to a professional
When the feeling of loneliness is very intense, constant and it seems that it can do more than oneself, it can have negative effects on health since symptoms of depression, and a significant decrease in quality of life could appear. In these cases, it is necessary to go to a professional, who will be in charge of supporting you and providing you with the tools to overcome that fear of loneliness that is blocking you and preventing you from living fully and satisfactorily.